Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Last night, sleep was stolen from me. Robbed by an insectide menace- BEELIUM. How could I rest while this winged plague roamed free, leaving a trail of victims levetating uncomfortably in his wake. Who would liberate us from this gaseous affliction? From whence would our salvation come?


A florist with ADD and a lot of free time. A florist with ADD, a lot of free time, and a helium tank. So endlessly amused by his own high-pitched voice is Ted that he has developed an immunity to the bouyant effects of helium. Saturated with this noble gas, Ted is the only man equipped to defy the venemous villian roaming the countryside.

And so it was that Beelium, unable to resist the miasma of pollen and spores surrounding Ted and his carnivorous pet plant, Polleminator. Unable to perturb ted, the impotent annoyance sought to slake his thirst with the sweet nectar of the Polleminator (known in some regions as the Honey Suckler) and met his ignominious fate.

Long live Ted.

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